Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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