I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
