I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"