Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize