I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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