Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Shame - the story of my life.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
