Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
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after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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