When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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