Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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