wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize