Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Pooping to opera.
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