I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
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My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
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She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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