Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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