Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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