Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
