I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Can I color on your dick again?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
