How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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