When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
