Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk