Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I thought that was really considerate

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  (586): I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating' (586): I thought that was really considerate http://tfl.nu/g1h7
  Replies (3) Good night (2310) Bad night (583)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me

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  (313): I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me http://tfl.nu/x1tc
  Replies (8) Good night (1138) Bad night (1302) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  Deal!

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  (515): You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit. (1-515): Deal! http://tfl.nu/vj0b
  Replies (20) Good night (7679) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was

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  (307): i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was http://tfl.nu/vjju
  Replies (4) Good night (914) Bad night (3862) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.

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  (718): I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there. http://tfl.nu/dv4v
  Replies (13) Good night (4199) Bad night (1269) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.

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  (404): Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits. http://tfl.nu/2cej
  Replies (10) Good night (9521) Bad night (772)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at

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  (630): oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at http://tfl.nu/dl7w
  Replies (5) Good night (774) Bad night (1808) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.

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  (651): He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old. http://tfl.nu/87vs
  Replies (11) Good night (1917) Bad night (1105) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.

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  (603): I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob. http://tfl.nu/3ajr
  Replies (5) Good night (1599) Bad night (572) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Why didn't I see you last night!?

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.

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  (203): Why didn't I see you last night!? (1-203): We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you. http://tfl.nu/iqgq
  Replies (6) Good night (5075) Bad night (571) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch

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  (203): we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch http://tfl.nu/wvpl
  Replies (7) Good night (2315) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor

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  (406): Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor http://tfl.nu/fbq6
  Replies (10) Good night (1691) Bad night (398) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.

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  (734): I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons. http://tfl.nu/bvxd
  Replies (11) Good night (1078) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)

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  (443): according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :) http://tfl.nu/n706
  Replies (3) Good night (799) Bad night (185)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you

  (289): View more from Ontario

  Is that a sex thing?

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  (647): I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you (289): Is that a sex thing? http://tfl.nu/v8ys
  Replies (0) Good night (361) Bad night (223)

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