I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
love makes seman taste better
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
