woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
