There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
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Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
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The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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