Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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