so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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