Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize