i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize