dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
