ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
