Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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