The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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