K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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