How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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