I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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