your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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