At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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