I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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