youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
