My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
