What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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