I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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