I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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