We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
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I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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