i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize