You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize