If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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