I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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