dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It's never too late to be topless.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize