Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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