As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize