So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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